confession of a mistress?

its not a real story but think about it (;

Walking through the garden, they were holding hands. They were full of love for each other while I blinked my eyes and pretended like nothing was happening and acted like I did not know who they were. As I saw them together, I realized how much of a fool I have been to be entangled in a love triangle. I followed them to every corner. My heart that’s crushed to see what they did behind the bushes. I heard them laughing and confessing that they were so in loved with each other. He had promised to her that he would not leave her no matter what happened.

I ran by the street alone and confused with what had actually happened between this relationships. I asked myself maybe I should back off and stop doing all these mess. Suddenly, rain came falling down, I’m losing my make up and lip gloss. My face looked dull and empty. I walked to the bus stop and waiting and hoping maybe someone will see me and fetched me. I waited there until the sunset.

I received one phone call, he asked me where was I. I laughed and said that I was busy and I was doing just fine. I was panicked and suddenly the line went off. I took a cab and went back home. As soon as I arrived, I ran onto my bed, I threw all my stuffs and hid under my comforter. I covered my face and shouted loudly as I said I am such a fool living in this world.

I can’t be the second one. I can’t take being the second fiddle. I could not imagine if I have to share my love with another woman. I let myself drown into this heart wrenching moment. I don’t know how I could close my eyes and ears towards this complicated relationship. Even though we had promised each other to take care and loving forever, we also have to think of people thought about this journey. Once, I asked him to let her go but he can’t. An argument happen with motives that his family has tied the knot long time ago and he can’t easily broke the promise of his family.

I wrote his name at the top of header on a letter. I started with simple poetry. I told him that I will always be there for him ‘till death do us apart. But, somehow I have to let him go for a moment. I’m sick for all this dramatic emotions especially this love triangle. What am I supposed to do? Just sit and smile and pretended everything goes fine. However, I have to move on and decorate my own lifestyle without him. I will not depend on him anymore on whatever I do. From now on, I will call myself single lady and change people thought about me being a mistress. Life keeps go on no matter what we do.